Blind Fury
by Nadare
Summary: Enter the mind of Vicious as he confronts Spike in episode five.


Author's Note: All right, I give in. My muse wants to elaborate on "Ballad of Fallen Angels," and I'll do it already! Another day, another fanfic...It'll be from his P. O. V. Hopefully, I'm on his track of mind. Enjoy!  
  
[Last edited on Oct. 6, 2002]  
  
Disclaimer: *The songs "Rain" and "Green Bird" belong to me! Yes, it's true. I brought the rights to them!! :::laughs evil-scientist like before sweatdropping::: You didn't actually believe, did you? Of course, I don't own any thing pretaining to Cowboy Bebop...dammit!   
  
"Blind Fury"  
  
~"Rain"~  
~I don't feel a thing  
And I stopped remembering  
The days are just like moments turned to hours~   
  
Darkness. Seems fitting for a demon like me. The shadows conceal me as I hear footsteps against the cathedral floor. The woman, Valentine, is breathing heavily, though I doubt even she notices it.   
  
A flash of Julia consumes my mind. Anyone woman who crosses my path makes me think of her. The beautiful woman who fell in love with two men. Curse Kami, that one of them was me. The other, my mentor. The Gods must be laughing at this farce they created, moving human beings around like pieces on a chess board. Playing them against one another.   
  
~Mother used to say  
If you want, you'll find a way  
Bet mother never danced through fire showers~   
  
I can smell him now, his cologne was always strong. Time for my entrance. He knows my style. He came, willing to play this game of Russian Roulette. I walk down the dark aisle, knowing that my boots are pounding against the floor, betraying my location. He could shoot me right now, if he wanted to.  
"When angels are forced out of heaven, they become devils. You agree, don't you, Spike?" The raven flies onto my shoulder. I am not even aware of it. I only have eyes for Spike.   
He stares at me for a moment, hands buried in his coat pockets before answering. Probably, recovering from my new appearance. Yes, Spike, when you left, you broke me. The kindhearted Vicious has been consumed. You once told me to live up to my namesake. How am I doing now?   
Then Spike smirks. So familiar that expression. "I'm just watching a nightmare, I can never wake up from."  
He hasn't changed. Not one bit. I hadn't expected him to. After all this was coming from a guy who was supposedly dead.   
  
~Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain  
I walk in the rain, in the rain  
Is it right or is it wrong?  
And is it here that I belong? ~   
  
"I'll wake you up," I reply, watching as an alien emotion crosses his face. Regret? Sympathy for your pupil? Do I look that bad? Tell me, Spike, what would you have done if I had staged my death back then? Would you still remain an angel, or fall from grace as I did?  
  
"What's your rush, Vicious? After all, it's been a long time," He comments, smile firmly pressed in place. He seems to be telling the truth, but who knows what abilities he's picked up since then? He is right. It's been a long time. Who can tell the teacher from the student anymore?  
  
I laugh bitterly. "Pleading for your life?" I ask, hand inching towards the sword hilt unconsciously. My beloved katana that has served me well. I doubt you'd agree with my methods, Spike. So much has changed since then.   
  
"Hardly," Spike says, smile locked in place. "Begging never worked on you, remember? Not even from a man who took you in and made you what you are."   
  
I feel old pain raise in me. An emotion I had repressed since your death, Spike. Why must you cause me more pain? Wasn't stealing Julia enough?  
  
~I don't hear a sound  
Silent faces in the ground  
The quiet screams, but I refused to listen~   
  
Feeling my smile turn bitter, I speak. "Perhaps. But he was a beast that who lost his fangs. That's why he had to die, Spike. And that's why you have to die." I hope that hurt. Like the death of Mao Yenrai. Obviously, it did. It brought you to me, didn't it? An undead corpse who has risen from the grave.   
  
Spike's attention is thrown from me to the Valentine girl being held captive. She still struggles, even though she knows it's fruitless. She was only a tool. And her usefulness is over.   
  
Spike loses his smile, as he turns, drawing his weapon all the while. He was always was a man of man talents. He stares for a few seconds, then his eyes narrow.   
  
I stand in the shadows, observing all of this with a blind eye. I want to know how much you've changed Spike. Show me.  
  
"Now, we'd like you to drop the gun slowly," Gilliam(1) says, smiling. He always did get a kick out of being in control.   
  
Spike remains silent for a few moments, gun unwavering. As I look closer, I see his finger tighten on the trigger. Gilliam is a goner, and he doesn't even know it.   
  
"What's wrong? If you don't comply-" His words are cut off as I turn my back. I know what will happen now. For a brief span of time, this blessed cathedral will became a pit of chaos. Holy objects and ancient architecture will no longer exist. Surviving the night is all that will matter.   
  
Bullets fill the air. Rockets are fired. Explosions rock the foundation. This beautiful cathedral has now become hell on Earth.   
  
~If there is a hell  
I'm sure this is how it smells  
Wish this were a dream but no. it isn't~  
  
I can hardly follow his movements. He has not lost his touch, if anything, he's enhanced it. Then again, I wasn't expecting anything else. After all, Spike, you were my mentor, teaching me everything you knew. He made me, and now, he's come to break me. Or has he come to try and win me back? If only that were true.  
  
Those days seem so far away. Tell me, Spike, do you ever think of the irony of it all? Our beautiful relationship, and then our horrible falling out. Or did the friendship end when he staged his own death? Yes, that was the reason. He did it without even warning me. Even if the friendship was on rocky ground, he could have at least given me a warning.  
  
Best not to think of this. It always makes my cold heart ache. Will it ever beat again? I hear his footsteps against the stairwell. He's already made it this far. Looks like I will have to kill him myself.   
  
~Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain  
I walk in the rain, in the rain  
Am I right, or am I wrong?  
And this is here that I belong?~  
  
Why have you come, Spike? If not to avenge the death of Mao Yenrai, why? Does the girl really matter that much to him, or has he come to see me again? He knows my style. He knew what he was getting into when he entered the cathedral. Perhaps, I will never know his motive. But it does not matter. He's here.   
  
I heard his heavy breaths as he walks past me. Baka. If there's one thing he will never learn, it's that things always lurk in shadows. Today, it will be the death of him.   
  
He shoots down Tet(2) and leans against the wall, taking a few moments to recover. Believing all danger has passed. Guess again, my friend.   
  
~Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain  
I walk in the rain, in the rain  
Why do I feel so alone?  
For some reason I think of home~   
  
I step out of the shadows, and before he can react, I have knocked the gun from his hand. That was always his weakness. He relies on guns too much. I always used to scold him about that. But did he ever listen?   
  
I continue my attack, missing him by mere inches as he dodges the dangerous blade. Finally, the katana catches him across the cheek. Blood sprays through the air, and he is thrown to the floor, but has a trick up his sleeve yet.   
  
I see his hand grab the fallen gun, but I am too focused on my own movements to catch anymore. As I press my blade into his shoulder, I feel his gun press into my own. It seems as we are evenly matched. One of my questions has been answered.   
  
I smile. "You should see yourself. You have any idea what you look like right at this moment, Spike?" I ask, enjoying the tension between us. The calm before the storm.   
  
"What?" He replies, face set in harsh lines, much similar to my own. It makes me wonder if we are the same, after all.  
  
"A ravenous beast. The same blood runs through both of us. The blood of a beast who wanders, hunting for the blood of others."  
  
"I've bled all that kind of blood away."  
  
The dam of emotions I've been repressing come flooding back, and I feel my face shift into a mess of fury. "Then why are you still alive?!"  
  
I push, he fires. He is thrown back against the floor, and I catch myself. Barely.   
  
I allow Spike no time to recover. I grab his face with my hand, and pull him up roughly. I can hear bones threatening to crack as I apply more pressure. I smile wickedly. This will be the last time we meet, Spike. This time, stay dead.   
  
~"Green Bird"~   
~Spring has come  
Bugs stick their faces out of the ground  
Birds are eating them~  
  
I throw him through the stained-glass, not caring as bits of stray glass bite into my flesh. Before he completely disappears from my view, I meet his eyes. They are so sad. I hear a faint rolling sound, and my eyes flick to the floor. I can't believe what I am seeing. His parting gift. I hate it.   
  
~Spring has come  
Children go to school  
Stray dogs are bearing many puppies~  
  
Even as I run, I know I won't come out of this unharmed. The grenade still rolls across the floor. Suddenly, I feel a sourcing heat eat at my back. I am thrown many feet. I couldn't have counted even if I tried. I fly over the stairwell, and know that if I survive this, I will never be the same. Damn you, Spike. Why does he always have to have the last laugh?   
  
Julia...Spike...why does everyone want to hurt me? Am I that vulnerable? Is this how friends say good-bye, Spike? I hope he stays dead this time. I don't care how many lives he has, just stay dead!   
  
I feel alien emotions attack me. Salty tears gather in my eyes, as I see the floor below me. My lips hardly move, but the whisper echoes, betraying my confession.   
  
"I don't want to hurt you anymore."  
  
Darkness.  
  
~Spring has come  
Women face mirrors  
Custard pie bakes~  
  
THE END  
  
(1) I made this up! I have no idea what their names are, since they were never specified.  
(2) This is also made up. Good name, huh? Sounds Cowboy Beboppy to me. 


End file.
